Bring on the red roses, chocolates, strawberries and champagne. Valentine’s Day is here again and while this holiday favors the blissfully coupled, this year I wanted to give you “all” some yoga related relationship advice- boo or no boo. I learned these tips from hunky yoga teacher, Travis Eliot the creator of The Ultimate Yogi DVD program, and think you will love these lovely relationship tips too RADicals.
#1 (Ahimsa) Love = No Harm
Intimate relationships – shoot any relationship will always present certain challenges. And as frustrating as they can be the behavior these moments trigger can be reactive and harmful. However to this Eliot explains – “The opposite of harming is the energy of compassion.” Putting yoga into action off the mat and in your relationship requires carefully watching the moments when heat rises and mindfully practicing compassion. This is especially true in the things we say, the actions we take, and even the thoughts we have. In emotionally full moments, watch your thoughts, words, and actions. Take a deep breath, step back, and align with the perspective that’s for the highest good of all involved. Namaste.
#2 (Satya) Truthfulness Leads To Happiness
Whether you are in love or love one on one time with your bestie I have learned this truth recently – living in my truth leads to happiness (for us all). So when Eliot shared this idea with me I was like “true!!!” “Truth leads to a deep quality of strength and integrity within a relationship,” he says. Simply put, truth is truth. Whether it’s a lie you’re hiding or you are operating in a space that doesn’t feel genuine remember this RADicals: Honesty requires courage and is not always comfortable. Being honest is highly vulnerable, and while it is a risk, trust me – it is worth it.
#3 (Asteya) Steal A Moment And Savor It
In today’s hectic technically driven world moments of genuine connectedness are rare. I mean when was the last time you ate dinner with someone and the moment a slither of silence joins the party cell phones and Instagram feeds do too. However according to Eliot the guideline of non-stealing in this modern day advises us to be fully present with our partner. Take small steps, such as leaving cellphones and computers out of the bedroom, to enhance your quality time. Leave aside distractions and consider putting small complaints and arguments to the side to maximize the moments you spend with the ones you love. Simply put – steal the glorious moments of dinner time, bath time, and bedtime and savor them by being present and connected.
#4 (Brahmacharaya) Continue To Pursue Continence
What, no sex on Valentine’s Day? Craziness. Trust me I am not suggesting no hanky panky on the 14th. However what I am suggesting is that it be mindful love making. Back in ancient times yogis and monks practiced continence or celibacy in order to completely step away from worldly pursuits. But “in modern times as householders, continence signifies a deeply respectful and pure use of sexual intimacy,” Eliot adds. Everything revolves around intention. So as a couple create an intention around making love so that sexual intimacy becomes a powerful, beautiful, and transcendent form of communication within your relationship.
#5 (Aparigraha) Don’t Hoard Your Hunnie’s Time
Everyone needs space. Everyone. Therefore the final tip Eliot offers is non-hoarding. “This philosophy encourages us to have trust and faith that space is a safe thing to create for each other within a relationship,” he says. The tendency in an unhealthy relationship is to have fear around the other partner growing or evolving into someone different than they currently are. It’s important to have the willingness to give our partners space to grow as human beings, whether that’s going on a meditation retreat, going back to school, or even going to a yoga class. Giving them the time to let go of certain things will be essential to the survival of your relationship. Have faith that a balanced amount of space will bring more happiness and joy into your relationship. Can I get an amen!