My longest relationship ever lasted 14 years. I met Ed when I was 14 years old and instantly my whole life changed.
I was a different person. Unrecognizable to my classmates, friends, family…and eventually myself.
My relationship with Ed started off innocent and easy, but eventually over time it became incredibly controlling and dangerous.
There was no question – my whole life revolved around Ed.
Crazy thing was, most people didn’t even know I was in such an awful relationship.
And the ones who did were so confused by it all that the only advice they could form their lips to give was, “Just stop!”
As if stopping was easy.
I mean, duh, of course I want to stop being in an unhealthy relationship.
But the sad truth was – Ed was my everything.
However after 14 years of isolation and destruction, on the eve of my 28th birthday, I realized that Ed and I had been doing our thing for exactly half my life.
But I also realized something else.
Being with him meant I was only living half a life.
So we broke up. It wasn’t easy. But it was possible.
Breaking up with Ed was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done and I am so grateful that I lived to tell it.
Who is Ed?
Ed is the Eating Disorder that people said black girls didn’t get. Ed is the reason why I don’t believe in diets or quick fixes. Ed is the reason why I’m more concerned with happiness as opposed to what size I wear. Ed is why I only sweat in ways that make me smile.
Simply put, Ed is the reason why I am determined to create only RAD Experiences.
Being healthy and sharing my story with you – the shame, the guilt, the victory- is my destiny.
Because I know that I know – this is the main reason why God restored my mind, body and spirit after my relationship with Ed.
So this is it. My story. My truth. My RAD life. To be continued…
Note: An Eating Disorder is an illness that requires proper treatment. With the help of therapy and books like Life Without Ed (by Jenni Schaefer) I survived. Therefore if you or someone you know needs help please check out these resources.
Andrea WatkinsNovember 6, 2014 at 9:07 pm
Salute to you for having the courage to bring this issue to light. Often overlooked in African American women I hope this message inspires others to reach out for help and to bury the shame associated with it!
Kai Lopes-StovellNovember 7, 2014 at 12:01 am
im so proud of you for sharing this story!! You’re amazing!! Ed never discriminates. And sharing your testimony sets souls free. It’s beautiful to see you on thee other side of this struggle!! I love you!!
Black Girls Do Get Eating Disorders: I Did and I Survived – root migrationMay 9, 2016 at 11:35 pm
[…] Hello, my name is Robbie, and I am a black girl with an eating disorder. […]